As You Sow....

The catch phrase – old. The message of the entry even older. So watcha doin reading this?

I, like most of you out there, am one of those people who given the chance would blame someone else for my misgivings. The fact that I see it doesn’t mean I ve done anything about it. Y? Well I m very human..and not a great one at that.

I ve not been regular on my blog or any of yours in a long long while…oh hey how u doin?
Anyways..Have I been busy? Yeah..a lil bit. But could I have put in the extra effort and done something about it? Oh absolutely. This here blog has been extremely good to me. It got me through last year unscathed and a lotta of the time, the attention it gathered made me feel good about myself. But still I neglect it…y? well I m very human…and not a great one at that.

But the buck stops here. I m done blaming everyone else for how i tend to screw up life. There is so much more to it. The most important fact of life as far as I m concerned is – “its not over till its over”..where ever you stand at this moment in life – like me in my bed(obv not standing on it!!) – morose and sad or on a tightrope doing the balancing act somewhere in the deccan trails but still lost In thought – that’s just now. There is more – there’s always more- there is tomorrow and if we put our mind and all of our effort into it – that tomorrow need not be morose n sad, it could be everything you want it to be.

Y all this gyaan u ask? Well coz this is something I m learning and so should you. This is what I m gonna try to make of my life – everything I want it to be with all the pieces in place. Life’s good and in the last couple of months, its gotten even better. Someone’s made it better. That someones given me a whole lotta loving, direction, focus and drive to make something of myself. Its only when one sees that spark that utter realization that one finally grows up – oh I ve seen my spark, she s pretty, witty, loving and all that I ve ever wanted. She is my Bebo.

And the fact of the matter is I owe it to her to make life perfect. Coz that’s what I think she is – perfect. And the effort she puts in to help me with all of this is beyond something I could’ve ever done for someone else. So the least I can do right now is grow up and grab the bull by its horns coz its not everyday one get as lucky as I do.

The past is exactly that – the past. You cant do anything about it. So why ever loose sleep over it. What has happened has happened and you are still standing and that’s wat counts. What you can do though is not let your present and your future get haunted by your past. So step up, move forth and all that jazz.

Coz life awaits..life’s calling…pick up..pick up NOW.

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Next Is Now

No apologies...and no i dont ask for forgiveness either. Coz as friends you are expected to understand my one month long absence. Lets get into the reasons later, right now hear me out.

I m confused.

You know there comes a point in everyones life where the next step you take makes or breaks you. While normal people, prepare themselves for this scenario and have counter measures at hand whenst the day of reckoning comes around, others tend to dodge, shuffle, fake n move untill left with on other choice but to cry over spilt milk. Yours truly is definitely an "other".

Everyone has dreams in life. And the bigger you dream, the better your chances of making something out of yourself or so they say. For a normal 10 year old desi kid, nothing seemed bigger than Team India. To don the India Blue was something i like 90% of the boys and .001% of the girls(read madhuri iyer) dreamt of doing. And as years passed and i grew older and less maturer, careers ranging from archeology to journalism came and went from my peripheral vision. And as i turned 18 and no clear cut career options sprung to mind, i chose to be a jack of all trades, i chose to be an Engineer.

And 6 years later, today, i m back at the very place i started out. Sitting in my balcony confused about what i wanna do in life, with life. Laid back is a term everyone who knows me associates with me. Maybe its the fact that i ve had it good in life. Always been lucky and always happy with the dealt hand. But in life, there is only so far luck can take you. The rest you gotta actually DO for yourself. There are plenty of opinions flying around. "You only live once so might as well do what you love" sounds appealing to me but "Money drives the world, so get an MBA" sounds more sensible. Right now i m a cat on a hot tin roof. Option 1 suggests the world of writing. Sports Journalism to be specific. I know its something i love and can see myself doing 30 years hence. And i pretty much know my knowledge of the game is at par if not better than most sports journalists out there. But thats an option thats just not feasible right now. To have Coffee with Harsha and Pepsi (obv i dont drink) with Wasim Bhai, to carve my niche in their world is a dream i ve longed to turn into reality for as long as i can remember. But sadly, self obsessed sports journalists are not exactly in vogue right now.

That leaves us with whats behind door no 2. An attractive MBA from a world renowned college abroad is something i can sink my teeth into. Obviously a great G-MAT score will help. And that ll require a lot of effort. More effort to push me off my bed than actually clearing the test. But But what the heck, no pain no gain right.

Hmmm..now therz a bit of clarity.

Right now, for better or for worse, thats my path of choice. The dreams dreamt have been replaced with new ones . Ones i dont plan on letting slip through my fingers. I guess its time. Its time to get off the lazy chair, take a shower, dump FIFA09 and get going again.

Its finally time for this Sid to WAKE UP.

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THE chapter

Files in order, long drawn out goodbyes said, bags packed, ticket reconfirmed. Tick tock Tick tock – Next Stop – HOME.

How time flies. A year has almost come and gone and though not exactly in the blink of an eye, now that I look back at it, it seems like my time here has absolutely blitzed by. For a large part of this year I sulked my days away. Lost in thoughts and memories of home, I grieved over my supposed pitiful situation. But now that D-day is almost upon me, I realize Abu Dhabi hasn’t been all that bad to me after all. On the contrary, this year away has actually done me a world of good. Its taught me a lot of things I should’ve realized and come to terms with a long time ago. But hey better late than never right?

One very important fact of life that my mother has always tried to in still in me is that every dark cloud of despair has a silver lining. The cup is always half full. So for a change I ll heed her advice. For a change, herz a look at the silver linings in this much detested dark cloud of despair.

·Abu Dhabi has taught me quite a few things. The most prominent being that I can actually survive alone. Though the laundry still needs a launderer and my clothes need Brett’s Ironing, in many ways I ve learnt to live on my own two over sized flat feet. I still cant control my urge to spend but time has taught me to spend on stuff I can actually use. Though still very indecisive, now I at least remember to weigh in the different factors before giving into my indecision. Abu Dhabi has taught me how to live.

·Abu Dhabi gave me Hi speed internet and through it a lot of you friends. Though we ve never met and some of us never might, there is still a strong attachment that goes beyond the realms of bloggersville. I feel closer and more in touch with a lot of you friends than my real life buddies. People say this is a virtual world but why does this virtuality seem so much more clearer and likable than the supposed real world we live in?

·Abu Dhabi has gifted me Brett and Rohit – my flatmates, partners in crime, my brothers in arms. They spoil me silly and love me like they would a younger brother. I dunno how I would’ve survived this city if it weren’t for these two angels from heaven. My day starts with Rohit’s bed coffee and ends only after me and Brett have had our daily roundup discussions. Without a shadow of a doubt, they have been my pillars of strength and for their presence in my life, I am ever grateful to the big guy up there.

·Abu Dhabi afforded me time with myself. Lots of it. And as I look back at this year which in a few hours ll pass me by, every minute I spent with myself was much needed. Its given me more insight into myself. Its given me time to think about and find answers to a lot of questions I avoided thinking about, a lot of things I tried to lock away in some deep corner of my system. MY TIME has taught me where I stand and where I need to go.

·Abu Dhabi is for me what Bodhgaya was for the Buddha. Whilst he received divinity, I ve received AwSMness. Jokes aside, to suggest that the long haired, frail boy who arrived in Abu Dhabi last year was a miserable insecure, incomplete soul would be an understatement. I was as low as low could be and somehow this city has managed to pull me out of the mire and breath in me new life. This year away has helped me recharge my batteries and get back to a level I thought I d never reach again. The confidence, the belief and the strut are all back. The whiner is long gone. His AwSMness is here and for that more than anything else I thank Abu Dhabi.

Abu Dhabi has taken a lot from me and also given me a lot back in return. It took away my friends and replaced them with new ones. It introduced me to hardship and suffering and in time helped me find a way past it and made me a better person for it. It took away “puttu-kadala” but granted me my beloved Chicken Shawarmas instead. Abu Dhabi took away me and gave me back ME.

Someone wise once said that life is a book with many chapters penned and innumerable others waiting to be etched in. In many ways this chapter has been the making of me. But life and me aint done yet.

Tomorrow is a new chapter, tomorrow is a new dawn, tomorrow i' m HOME.

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Footy Fever

Tis that time of the year again,
To get out and about in the summer rain.
In jam-packed stadiums ala white hart lane,
To cheer for your side and to go insane.

If confused you are of what I speak,
Its of “the love for football” that I reek.
And now that I have caught your intrigue,
Give it up give it up for the English Premier League

Contenders aplenty, champions - one,
So hang with me people, coz the poems just begun.

Contender No1 – The Merseyside Reds,
Liverpool FC – a bunch of scrawny Teds.
Their Main Man Alonso’s flown the coup
And left crazy Rafa in quite a soup.

Next on the charts are the men in blue.
Chelsea FC fly in at number two.
Ably led by good ol John Terry,
Is this the season the blues make merry?

Third in line and bringing up the rear,
Arsene’s Gunners, a far cry from their peers.
Fabulous Fab left to fight it out on his own,
But with no Ade and Toure, the burdens grown.

No list is complete without the Sheikh’s millions,
Tevez and Robinho – Man City’s South American Brilliance.
And how can one forget O’Neill and his Da Villa,
Who in Ashley Young have quite the killa.

So those are em freaks fighting it out for the crown,
With us the Red Devils, the toast of the town.

Manchester United’s the name, the most famous of em all.
Hell!! More people know us than they know asterix the gaul.
We don’t just beat our opponents, we batter and maul,
And leave em in a puff of dust too weak to even crawl.

The impregnable defence – Vida and Rio,
Calling the shots are Scholes, Carrick and Ando – the midfield trio.
With Berba and Rooney leaving defenders in a daze
For Macheda and Owen to set the goal trail ablaze.

So in a weeks time, we once again meet old foe’s
Minus CR7 but still with a whole lot to show
So all laced up are Sir Alex and Co
Coz we are Manutd and ere..we ..GO

PS : The English Premier League kicks off on the 15th of August. This is my tribute to an event which makes my weekend exciting again.

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That Lovin' Feeling

I m missing that loving feeling,
That feeling which is oh so healing.
That one touch that leaves you reeling,
Takes u so high, you can touch the ceiling.

Life’s no fun when you r single,
When there’s no one around to make your insides tingle,
When you are all alone and cant share that last pringle,
Hence this jingle, coz I m single.

One gets lonely without those midnight calls,
And those hand in hand walks down those long dark halls,
The moment when you jump into me after sighting one that crawls,
Aah..tis best to forget and not to recall.

I wonder when I ll find my Liz Hurley,
The one with the dazzling smile, all white and pearly,
And struts that strut – lissome and graceful – all girly,
With that mane of long dark hair – all bouncy and curly.

But how do I know miss wrong from miss right?
For a damsel in general, for sore eyes is quite the sight.
She makes your heart soar, makes it take flight,
The Lord’s resplendent creation – truly a delight.

So do you wine and dine the cool, smart meim,
The one cerebrally bright?
Or make out with the voluptuous dame,
The sight in dark jeans – ultra tight .
Now therein lies the conundrum,
A difficult choice, a perilous plight.

So back we are, to square one,
With lil miss elusive, still on the run.
But the hunt is on, its well and truly begun,
So if hide n seeks your game, accio hun.

Guess this should suffice till I find my muse,
Hope you r reading oh Penelope cruz.
Coz here I stand, all dazed and confused,
So come along running coz this poems come to an end and to wait... I refuse.

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Close Encounter Of The 3rd Kind

This here space is where I usually gloat about how AwSM I am and how truly spectacular it is to be me. But this time around its going to be a bit different, its not gonna be about me. Oh who am I kidding, of course its all about me but for a change a group of people will be sharing the spotlight with me. I was reading Mahesh’s blog last week and his latest entry brought back a very significant memory. A memory I had tucked away in a dark but prominent corner of my mind but one which needs to be told. It is a memory of an incident, quite odd but one which I think helped me big time in the long run.

This story takes us back 2 years to a time when I was just like any one of you, a mere normal mortal. Yes, as hard as it is to imagine, there indeed was such a time. I was on my final train ride to Bangalore to take care of some unfinished business and was going through the worst phase of my personal life – the earth shattering mother of all breakups. I had lost all belief in love and life, felt betrayed, broken and to an extend violated..all in all very unAwSM. During the ride, I was trying to lose myself in Mario Puzo’s “The Last Don” when a very lovey dovey couple occupied the Sleeper next to me and decided to get all hands on. Not exactly the kind of scenario I had signed up for. So all angry and upset, I chucked the book and stormed out of the compartment, to find an empty one. And as I finally settled into one such compartment and decided to cry my heart out there, the train made another stop. Luckily everyone gave my compartment a pass and left me to mop in peace.

But as soon as the train left the station again, another racket ensued. I was too busy mopping to be worried about who was doing what. But after a bit, their characteristic tone and their songs gave it away. They were a group…no actually a pack of 6. They raided every compartment, no one was spared. Those who parted with their money, got blessed, those who didn’t, got their unmentionables groped.…yep..the Hijras had made their way onto the train. One by one, compartment by compartment, they came they saw they looted and then…..they reached me.

As they very politely asked me for 5rs and I readily stretched my hand to hand over whatever change I had in my pocket, a funny thing happened. They didn’t take it. They down right refused to accept the money. All of them casually occupied the seats in my compartment. Three of em facing me and the other three along side me. I was wierded out, scared even coz the stories I had heard of them weren’t exactly the sleepy-by bedtime story kind. But then one of them asked me a question “kya hua chikne, itna udhaas kyun”? I was stunned. It was only then that I realised that I was still crying and unlike other people who noticed, passed and didn’t give a rats ass, these 6 people were the only ones who had the courtesy to enquire what actually was troubling me. And then as I took in their solemnly concerned faces, I told em my rather tragic story. They listened patiently, never disturbing, always quiet, rarely even batting an eye lid. After I had finished, I awaited their sympathetic response as was the norm. But the response I got surprised me. They spoke to me not about my predicament but about their life, about how they are condoned in society, how everyone discriminates against them just coz physically they are so called abnormal, about how impossible it is for them to live a normal life how much ever hard they try. And before leaving at the next station, they asked me one final question - whether I d rather switch places with them, them living my so called meaningless life and I living theirs.

I couldn’t give them an answer at that point in time. But later I realised how minor my issues really were, how the life I so hated was actually so blessed, how I was so damn lucky and yet so damn ungrateful. They in many ways set me straight, gave me a new lease on life. And all they took in return for all of their free counselling was their standard fee of 5 rs. I think I got an even better deal coz they even blessed me bigtime and I m quite sure it came from the bottom of their hearts.

Most people look at these physically deformed creations as a bane to society, a black mark on the face of the population. To a great extend, this reaction stems from the image that we have of them coz of what we ve heard from people around us. But when given the chance, they proved to me that if being human is about being compassionate to another beings problems, to aid when needed, to extend a helping hand when required then they are infact more human than most of us can ever claim to be.

I know I ll never see them again or hear their voices but their message I have always held close to my heart and as far as possible I ve tried to live by it. Today I m happy, satisfied and a have a desire to live life to its fullest and for that I thank you, the 6 most beautiful human beings I ve ever met. I m AwSM coz u were AwSM.

Cheers

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The Tonsillitis Effect

Tis a sad day in bloggersville today. His AwSMness’ AwSMness has been compromised. He was feeling on top of the world. Untouchable. No worries, no problems, perfect life and all. And being the smart ass that he is, he blogged about it, gloated about it. Even Wrote a poem about it. And right on cue, like clockwork, an old nemesis who was lurking in the shadows seemingly too weak to conjure an attack, STRUCK. Mr Tonsillitis Is Back. And he s better than ever. And now as a result, our hero’s singing career has come to an abrupt HALT.

Mr Tonsillitis’ return to power was a gradual, well-schemed, well-thought out process. He knew His AwsmNess inside out. Their past historic trysts saw to it. HIS tendency to consume cold elixirs to combat thirst and tiredness – the very elixirs which strengthened Tonsillitis with every gulp, HIS contempt for the medicine man and his spells (read doctor’s prescription) which ensured that though down Tonsillitis was never Out. And thus our main protagonist slowly but surely started tying the knot around his own neck.

It all started quite innocuously enough that fateful Tuesday night. HE was out and about with his comrades painting the town red, blue, purple…all the colours of the rainbow as only he could. And then out of the corner of his eye, HE caught a glimpse of his Kryptonite. A substance so dangerous yet so tempting that even His AwSMness couldn’t control himself. How was HE to know that the bright yellow tinge it radiated would soon be the glow taken up by his tonsils. Who could blame HIM, after all many an immortal has fallen victim to the temptation of the nectar of the Gods ie ButterScotch Ice Cream. All HE wished for was to merely taste that divine treat once. But one scoop lead to another and then another and after our hero had consumed 4 scoops of the scrumptious delicacy, HE regretfully decided to call it a night. All seemed well in AwSM land.

But the very next morn, the first of many tell tale signs surfaced. His Awsmness’ regular routine of a David Cook “Lie” rendition while showering had to be prematurely stopped coz HIS falsetto cracked up and gave way. Unusual but our lad was hardly perturbed. Too dense to realize the severity of the incident, our hero hummed his way to work. And there at work, whilst in conversation with his fellow mortal colleagues, a sudden severe surge lit his temple alight. Not one to show weakness, our brave knight simply brushed it aside and got back to HIS spellbound colleagues. Even though by dusk HIS whole being radiated heat, which would’ve put the human torch to shame, our hero soldiered on merely considering it as excessive AwSMness oozing out of HIS system. But when AwSMness started dripping its way out of his nose, HE got worried.

But by then it was too late, the pain of a thousand needles had pricked HIS being all over and as HE helplessly gazed into the mirror, he saw HIM. HIS foe, HIS nemesis – Mr Tonsillitis was staring right back at him, grinning from ear to ear, more powerful than HE last remembered HIM being. Trapped, Cornered and with nowhere to go, our hero walked slowly, tentatively to HIS royal chamber resigning himself to HIS fate. Alas the prophecy offered little hope anyways :-

“….either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...”.

OK OK…long dramatic story Short. I have tonsillitis. And as it is summer sale season, it comes along with a gift pack consisting of body pain, fever and severe headache. But then if I said it any other way, you wouldn’t have found it even remotely interesting. So there :D.

Now lets see some sympathy people. Oh btw writing in third person is fun :D

PS :HIS, HE refers to His AwSMness which refers to Urs Truly In 3rd Person. :D
HIM refers to Mr Tonsillitis.

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